at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
