I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
