So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
