"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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