You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
