you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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