You just made me feel so damn special
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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