Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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