mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
