New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
