Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
God, I missed his penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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