i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In America we eat man semen.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
