Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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