:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
