I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think a kid would responsible me up
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
