I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize