FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
