I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
