he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize