How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
