come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
