is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
