If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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