Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
