My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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