yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
