If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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