You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
