At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
