You're so nebulous sometimes
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
