I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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