words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
