I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
