sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
