In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
