why didn't you poke me back
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
