I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
