she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize