it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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