I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
