so that wasnt chicken after all
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
As shirtless as possible
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize