Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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