Sry I called you an 8
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm having to shit out rocks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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