and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
