how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
