I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
