Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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