and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
