I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize