is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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