Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
