Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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