You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
