so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
