A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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