You smell like stripper and shame
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
did you just send me my own nude
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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