theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
