U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
