I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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