Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think my moral compass just broke
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