FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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