Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
