You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
